February 1, 2010

Dear Ozrim:

No using cell phones during class, including and especially during services. You are the role models for all the students; that is not an option.
Let’s have fun in February. I am declaring February crazy tie month. Come to class in your most outrageous (but not inappropriate) tie – guys and girls. This is Purim month, so let’s have some fun.
This week Zach won the Frick by arriving first. Mason kvetched that Ozrim pay would not be properly referred to as “sustenance,” unless we were talking about impoverishment. I just want to remind you that when I was a high school teacher assistant we were expected to work 13 hours without breaks, shoveling coal, and we didn’t expect money, we were just thrilled if the Rabbi gave us a piece of challah, then we would walk home in the snow six miles uphill knowing we had done a good deed. Minimum wage? Hah! Minimum wage back then was a bathroom break! If we needed a ride, we went to the Yellow pages, looked up the phone number, then waited in line to place our dime in a pay phone.
This week Lydia won Vanity Fair with her fancy outfit and riding boots. Morgan also won Vanity Fair for her skirt. Val wore her Papa Don’t Preach Madonna gloves. Candace worries about what is written about her. Reese won GQ this week, and he even had his jacket dry cleaned. Mose wins GQ honorable mention, even with the Elvis tribute sideburns. Jake did not wear a tie – he came to school incognito. Jonathon wore his sweatshirt – we need to have Ozrim embroidered on it. Max Gru wore his shirt untucked because he forgot a belt. Carl wore shades of gray and hid upstairs. Garrett wore his Quidditch sweater.
Hana is xenophobic about foreign languages. Josh was Moses leading the children of Israel through the halls. Rachel had the Kodak moment of the day walking down the halls with her arm over the shoulder of a student. Ask your parents what “Kodak” means. Jeremy’s former students asked to have him back in her class.
Important announcement: Max Gre just got his license. That means that not only is he on the road, but Emma just got her permit, so beware when getting into a vehicle. With great power comes great responsibility.
See you Sunday wearing a funny tie.
Dennis