Monday, May 10, 2010

The very last Ozrim post of the year!

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

May 10, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

Our final letter of the 2009-2010 year! This Sunday we meet at 8 a.m. for our awards banquet – there will be root beer floats, flavored cream cheese, donuts, orange juice, etc. Lots of trophies and awards. We will recognize the seniors. Please do not be late – WE MEET IN ROOM 200! We will also have a visit from the first full blooded Ozeret, Leila Herbert.
WEAR YOU OZRIM SHIRT for pictures this Sunday – everyone! Also, do not forget Operation Flying Squirrel.
Josh was almost Frick (he thought it was awards day), but Zach got into the door first and won. Josh had his balloon taken away.
Zach had the triple layer look, but Reese and Ari (bow tie) won GQ. Jake dressed casually. Vanity Fair was shared by Alexa, Kelly, Kyra, Morgan, Rachel, and Candace. Kyra also played barbershop cutting off split ends. Rachel brought flowers for Mother’s Day for her teachers (nice). Jeremy is an uncle-2B. Laura is the donut lady.
Morgan the Instigator has great new rubber bands; she also wins the Waddle Award. Mason is a fan of Watchmen (it is a series about the Timex family). Jonathon was traded by his teacher for a player to be named later. Mose had a new ‘do. Carl defended Captain Ahab. Paul visited.
Hana was a hallway teacher. Lydia, Ari, and Bari led their classes without a teacher (and Emma). Excellent job – you guys did a terrific job. Ari sat in apple juice. Garrett unraveled head phones.
See you Sunday!
Dennis

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Two More Weeks!!!

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

May 3, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

And then there were two. Two minute abs. This will blow eight minutes abs right out of the water. Two chipmunks sitting on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle’s ranch. You know, that old children’s tale …from the sea. It’s like when you’re dreaming about gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly brie time, baby. Two days left of class. Whoohoo!
Kyra’s notes were a little difficult to read, so if I misinterpreted them I apologize in advance. Zach and Jeremy receive plaudits for their amazing singing and hand motions; Val did not know my songs. Lydia knew them, Ari probably not. Laura knew the songs but was pretty quiet.
Reese downed the most lox this week and worked 6th grade. Jake received kudos from Rosie for his teaching and taking over when the sub did not show on time. He also won GQ.
Mason was proud to have returned – first time he missed in three years. Rachel made it into clinical, which is quite a big deal. Bari is filling out her college forms. Bari also won Vanity Fair, and a student confused Rabbi Paley for her father – nothing to do with being pale, I am sure.
Morgan and Jonathon talked homeless people. Kyra had frilly feet. Mose is as close to his purple shirt as Carl is to his orange and gray. Max Gru and Garrett wore fruit stripes, while Kyra and Max Gre wore matching outfits. Everyone was proud of Lydia making it to the teacher appreciation breakfast – she did arrive slightly late after the awards were given out.
Hana had to discipline a child, and Ari won Frick (if you do not count Bari and Emma arriving at 8 because I told them the wrong time). Alexa is already lobbying for a particular job assignment next year. Laura apparently has some inside scoop on President Obama and National Jewish Month.
All of you wanting to return next year need to grab, complete and return an application form. They are online or you can pick one up in the adult lounge on Sunday.
Happy Mother’s Day – do not forget to wish your mother a happy day AS YOU LEAVE TO COME TO CLASS! See you Sunday.
Dennis

Monday, April 26, 2010

April 26 update

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

April 26, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

Three weeks left. This week Morgan and her pig ball won the Frick Award. This was the week of band-aids, and the line of the week was when Emma said “The study of the Torah is equal to them all, because it leads to them all,” and a student asked “It leads to the mall?”
Reese returned with no tie this week, same with Jake Skylar. Andrew and Candace want to remind all to sit with their class in services, and not to wear jeans. Also, do not forget: NO SHORTS!
Andrew wore his Toms, Jon won GQ – nice shirt. Good for Jeremy to pass on the piggy back ride (not as good with Josh and Max Gru). Who actually rides a pig’s back, anyway? Seems like a bad saying. Laura is her class’ anchor. Jon claims his cat kept him up – since when does a cat keep someone up? Kelly was singing with music (excellent).
Hana had the metal accessories of the day. Bari wore a U of M top, and Carl was Mr. Gray. He also closed the door on me like the end of The Godfather (I was Diane Keaton). Ari had his matching top and shoes, but has tennis shoe envy of his student with the light up shoes. Alexa was Little Purple Riding Hood. Max Gre worked with a difficult student one on one. Mose was supervising testing…sorta. Rachel tutored Hebrew and won Vanity Fair with Morgan. Kyra put sugar on her bagel and was on garbage patrol.
This week 8:30 a.m. teacher appreciation breakfast!
See you Sunday.

Dennis

Monday, April 19, 2010

April 19

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

April 19, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

Four weeks remain.
I know that many of you will be attending prom in the coming weeks. We will expect to see you on the Sunday morning after unless you tell us to expect otherwise.
This week Laura won Frick and was named Brotherhood’s Next Top Pastry Chef Cutter. Garrett likes to play games on his phone before class starts. Mose and Carl are the strong silent types during meetings. Attendance was so poor this week that Josh had to do his act solo without the Pips.
Tweedle Dee missed her other half, but she did win Vanity Fair. Jake returned as the solo GQ with his nice new tie (it looked new). Mason told me (after the trophies were ordered) that he will miss his first class in three years because he is going on a pilgrimage to see the King’s home…Graceland. Zach was teaching Hebrew when I walked in and looked like an old fashioned school marm with a pointer.
Max Gru is the muffin man. Have you seen him? Max Green was teaching a student why it is important to stay in religious school (he showed him the Ozrim candy).
Jonathan was the story of the week. His teacher did not show up, nor did his sub, so he taught the first ten minutes with no lesson plan – way to go! That is exactly what should be done, and mazel tov to Jonathan for stepping up and handling it.
I will see you April 25. Wear your prom outfit and you will win GQ or Vanity Fair!
Dennis

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

April 12 Update

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

April 12, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

This is it, the countdown begins. Five weeks remain.
Congratulations to Jeremy, who has decided to grace the University of Texas with his presence next year. He chose it because he loves Ironworks Barbecue and UT needed a replacement for Colt McCoy. Carl has chosen to become a Fighting Scotty or whatever they call those that attend Carnegie Mellon (our second in the Ozrim program to attend the prestigious school in Pittsburgh). Carl, do not go to the Zanzibar with Ben Roethlisberger, you maniac (let’s see if you can figure that one out). Paul was accepted by Middlebury College, just down the road from Ben & Jerry’s. Paul can spend his freshman year eating ice cream, skiing with the Von Trapp Family, and making teddy bears. Pittsburgh and Austin are nice (Vermont is leafy), but Zach is going abroad to Israel this summer! Perhaps he should borrow Val’s Israeli Defense sweatshirt.
This week the Frick goes to Bari “At least I haven’t hit a squirrel” Eichelbaum and Jonathon “Mr. Chili’s” Mantel, the man with the new ‘do. Candace wants everyone to remember that we do not use our cell phone during class, including texting.
Miss Fixit (Laura) kept a level head and won Vanity Fair, along with Rachel and Val. Alexa, Mose and Hana had purple tops, but I was never a big Hendrix or Barney fan. Reese won GQ (very colorful), while Ari wore a plaid shirt and matching shoes.
Lydia has become the Sara Palin of Ozrim Award candidates; next month watch for her book, Going Rogaine: Driving Dennis Nuts. Mason (and Carl) continue working for their name on the perfect attendance award.
Kyra says that she checked the tag on Josh’s sweatshirt and it says “Sunday” on it. Max Gre and Gru both worked hard in Hebrew, and next year we need them apart or a name change. Kelly did a good job singing along in music.
See you the next 5 Sundays.
Dennis

Friday, April 2, 2010

Happy Passover!

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

March 29, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

Y’all have earned another week off! This week Laura was first and won the Frick Award (she also helped prepare the Brotherhood breakfast, earning extra brownie points).
This week the Waddle Award goes to Rip Van Epstein, Rip Van Eichelbaum(s), and Laura for attending an overnighter yet working Sunday morning. I also want to thank Mason, Reese, Morgan, Jonathan Rachel, Max Gre, Carl, and Garrett for making it to the entire staff meeting.
Andrew does not like literary references. Garrett tried to be our boogie woogie bugle boy and wake some Ozrim. Alexa won Ultra Brite. Vanity Fair was shared by Alexa, Kelly, Lydia, Kim (spring outfit) and Rachel (Mary Tyler Moore look). Jake was tie and sockless. Reese won GQ all by his lonesome. Paul was doing a “nice slacks” commercial. Candace had my favorite excuse of the year for being tardy – she was at a Sunday morning dentist appointment. I wish she would share her dentist’s name, since my dentist does not even work on Fridays.
Carl taught in his class. Josh “AT&T” Gordon was either King Tut or Pharoah (he woulda won a Grammy, buried in his jammys). Jonathan was playing Alex Trebek while Morgan was playing Kelly Ripa.
Happy Pesach to all. See you April 11.
Dennis

Monday, March 8, 2010

March 6 Update

March 8, 2010


Dear Ozrim:

Y’all have earned two weeks off! This week Laura was first and won the Frick Award. Mason announced he will be joining the Crimson Tide next year. Paul and Kim announced they will return to Ozrim even though they will be freshmen in college (;O).
Kyra was in charge this week, and it is great to report that everything went smoothly. Unlike the previous week, no chocolate fountains were broken (although she did abandon me in my hour of need). Candace and Andrew were on mold patrol, checking expiration dates and sniffing out old food. I received kudos about two of you in particular, when two teachers approached me to tell me how good a job Rachel does each week, and how terrific Jonathon was at the Purim Carnival. Way to go – we love it when they come to us to report positives!
Jake and Reese won GQ, Kyra and Laura won Vanity Fair. Alexa was drinking Tab (she looked like Twiggy from the 70’s commercial). Ari had his orange theme going (shirt and shoe laces). Garrett dressed like his teacher. Max Gru was busy handling home matters.
Zach is both Rabbi Remer and Mr. Supply for his class – reminiscent of James Garner as the Scrounger (The Great Escape). Carl remains Carl – sure and steady, working on Hebrew. Max Gre looked tired in the meeting, but ran a marathon in his class. Josh Gordon is still looking at colleges in other time zones. Bari helped a child that was afraid of a bug – this is pure irony of the first nature. She is also a good speller. I could not read Kyra’s writing but it looked like something about Jeremy and a duck – I am sure there is more to that story, but I am not sure it is printable.
When we return from break it is Matzah time, then we hit the home stretch. Get your enthusiasm in gear, because we want to end the year with a bang, making them excited for the next year. Enjoy your spring break.
By the way, while the Cowboys do nothing, did you see which team has made the best moves in free agency this off-season? That would be those Chicago Bears – on their way to the Super Bowl again!
Dennis

Friday, March 5, 2010

Purimpalooza is coming

February 22, 2010

Dear Ozrim:

This Saturday is Purimpalooza, so pick out your costume and do not forget we have class on Saturday, not Sunday. See you at 3:30 at the temple!!! There will be plenty of food and fun – Kyra has made sure that the chocolate fountain works (she assembled and disassembled it several times on Sunday).
This week Laura won Frick, and she is the perfect pastry slicer. Lately we have had a higher number of absences, please remember that the students in your classes look forward to seeing you and spending time with you. When you are absent or not in class it detracts from their learning experience. Please make every effort to be at Religious School and in class whenever possible.

Andrew looked zoned out all day. Paul wants everyone to remember no jeans except at Purimpalooza. Jeremy was Duff Man with juice for his class. Bari may actually be shorter than every student in her class. Kelly is the Dancing Queen (Abba), and Josh is the Patrick Swayze of his class.
Morgan had water logged boots. Candace had her Selena hat, Jonathan his zip up sweatshirt, and Val the lowest hanging purse on earth. Rachel won Vanity Fair with her zebra shirt, and Kim’s checkerboard shirt won honorable mention. Max is raising enthusiasm, Carl hovers over his class, and Mose the beatnik won GQ this week. Rabbi Remer continues his Hebrew lessons in class, and Mason was like a Saint Bernard – he and his teacher had a triage going in class.
We have Purim, then a week of class, then two weeks off, then Passover, then we come to the home stretch (April and May). I realize religious school’s schedule has been bizarre this year, and it is hard to get into a rhythm, but let’s pull it together for the children! Y’all are the key.
Thank you for all of those that have to read my ranting but are pulling your weight and doing your job in a professional manner! I truly appreciate your dedication and how responsible you have been in making this program a success.
Dennis

Monday, February 8, 2010

February 8 Update

February 8, 2010

Dear Ozrim:

Next week is President’s Day, so no class. Also, Max Gru will not be at Sunday School next week. We begin anew February 21! This week the Frick went to Laura (she’s back, Henna and all). Josh spent his week racking up recommendations. Jonathan won the Ultra Brite Smile Award. Jeremy for some reason hates Twilight and he along with the rest of you need to work on your math tables when it comes to the number 18.
Garrett took an outside stroll after services. Ari (McAri, I should say), turned down another job offer on Sundays because of the Ozrim pay! J Bari finally returns to her class to find no Hebrew. Kelly knows the word for butterfly in Hebrew. Max Gre won the Waddle Award for limping more than Dwight Freeney. Mason and Laura want to compete in Ozrim v. Food to see who can eat 36 gefilte fish.
Rav Remer was teaching Hebrew. Reese may have finally graduated from Tie U. Mose walked around like Radio Raheem from Do the Right Thing. Lydia won Vanity Fair with her boots and long coat, and Hana gets a special mention for her Grace Slick tights. Paul had fab footware (Ug shoes), but Jake (in his Richard Lewis look) and Reese win GQ. Carl was relegated to pencil man – he needs a life size pocket protector.
We had a good week this week, so here is the Hebrew phrase of the week: Mi Dat (I cannot write in Hebrew on my computer). Have a good two weeks, and we will see you February 21. Do not forget the youth led service this Friday night!
Dennis

Monday, February 1, 2010

February 1, 2010

Dear Ozrim:

No using cell phones during class, including and especially during services. You are the role models for all the students; that is not an option.
Let’s have fun in February. I am declaring February crazy tie month. Come to class in your most outrageous (but not inappropriate) tie – guys and girls. This is Purim month, so let’s have some fun.
This week Zach won the Frick by arriving first. Mason kvetched that Ozrim pay would not be properly referred to as “sustenance,” unless we were talking about impoverishment. I just want to remind you that when I was a high school teacher assistant we were expected to work 13 hours without breaks, shoveling coal, and we didn’t expect money, we were just thrilled if the Rabbi gave us a piece of challah, then we would walk home in the snow six miles uphill knowing we had done a good deed. Minimum wage? Hah! Minimum wage back then was a bathroom break! If we needed a ride, we went to the Yellow pages, looked up the phone number, then waited in line to place our dime in a pay phone.
This week Lydia won Vanity Fair with her fancy outfit and riding boots. Morgan also won Vanity Fair for her skirt. Val wore her Papa Don’t Preach Madonna gloves. Candace worries about what is written about her. Reese won GQ this week, and he even had his jacket dry cleaned. Mose wins GQ honorable mention, even with the Elvis tribute sideburns. Jake did not wear a tie – he came to school incognito. Jonathon wore his sweatshirt – we need to have Ozrim embroidered on it. Max Gru wore his shirt untucked because he forgot a belt. Carl wore shades of gray and hid upstairs. Garrett wore his Quidditch sweater.
Hana is xenophobic about foreign languages. Josh was Moses leading the children of Israel through the halls. Rachel had the Kodak moment of the day walking down the halls with her arm over the shoulder of a student. Ask your parents what “Kodak” means. Jeremy’s former students asked to have him back in her class.
Important announcement: Max Gre just got his license. That means that not only is he on the road, but Emma just got her permit, so beware when getting into a vehicle. With great power comes great responsibility.
See you Sunday wearing a funny tie.
Dennis

Monday, January 25, 2010

January 26 Update!

January 26, 2010

Dear Ozrim:

There have been several times when I have come into classes and found Ozrim sitting on tables or cabinets or other furniture – no more. Ozrim should be walking around the classroom or sitting amongst the students.
This week Morgan was bright and early and won the Frick Award, eating a Cinnabun. Jeremy was almost decapitated by Rabbi Paley. Rachel and Bari were twins (Vanity Fair honorable mentions, too). Garrett was on nurse duty with a child calling home.
Andrew found any excuse to not be in class, possibly a flashback from when he was my “assistant.” Laura was a Mayflower (Wo)man, moving chairs (not a Pilgrim). Ari was everywhere (he wins Muabelhcie), and was also the puppet master. Hana left her vulture’s perch to get a book from the office. Alexa took attendance and was confounded by a group of second graders – learn your kids’ names, guys.
Vanity Fair this week was shared by Miss Lydia and Alexa. GQ was won by Jake (new skinny tie) and Reese (no Bears tie). Max worked with Lilliputians. Kelly is a silent dancer. Carl had a matching shirt-watch color combo going. Paul was the Johnny Appleseed of juice.
Kyra made sure no one was beaned by the hanging exit sign. Mason increased his class’ attendance – it’s like having Justin Timberlake in class (all the kids want to see him). According to Kyra, Candace (solo) wore cute gold earrings and tan boots. Jake changed the clock batteries (they call him Mr. Timex). Josh was colorful – like a Teletubby. Mose is still wearing his prison purple striped shirt. Someone actually let Kim use scissors in class. Jonathan has a new one on one assignment.
See you Sunday (yes, we teach two Sundays in a row)!
Dennis

Friday, January 15, 2010

January 15 Update!

Hagafen
OZRIM™ 2009-2010
3809 Pilot Drive
Plano, Texas 75025
972-712-1198
deichelbaum@edlaw.com

January 12, 2010

Dear Ozrim:

Don’t forget to put the Purimpalooza on your calendar for February 27. I will need for you to let me know ASAP if you will not be available.
Graduating seniors should check out the Brotherhood’s website and see if you are eligible for applying to receive the Bob Weinfeld Scholarship. Deadline for applications is May 1.
This week we had our switch in assignments (for many of you). Jeremy was pleased to have the best of both worlds in his assignment. Kim was put in sixth grade but she blended in so I missed her. Paul was happy to return to his favorite class. Carl was less excited than expected. Kelly was thrilled with her assignment.
Andrew had the same hairdo as his teacher this week. Garrett and Candace now have Purim PHD’s, as they were treated like the title character in Being John Malkovich. Candace’s best friend laughed when she nearly broke a table. Speaking of her, Val was Rosie, the Bounty Queen. Laura cut up her hand in art (she also had the world’s longest scarf). Kyra went through extensive training her first day as my assistant. Kyra needs practice in her Quasimodo skills.
Jonathan was the strong, very silent type. Zach worked one of one with students, while Max Gre was grading work. Mose led a group himself, while Mason is getting used to older kids. Frick this week is Mason and Reese, Reese winning GQ honorable mention. Morgan wore army boots.
Max Gru won GQ even with his stripes in different directions (he also led a group). Hana won Vanity Fair with her combo Ozrim shirt/skirt. Alexa won both Vanity Fair and Ultra Brite smile award.
Ari was poking kids along in the hall. Lydia wants her kids running in the halls. Josh straggled behind returning from services (he was sad that they ended). Rachel wins Muablehcie for her good coverage.
Happy MLK Day. See you a week from Sunday!
Dennis